Is Your RelationshipCausing you Pain?
I want to help you resolve relationship conflicts, improve communication, and minimize stress and anxiety. Your session is a place where time is set aside to talk without interruption so that a real understanding of one another can take place. Even in the beginning, my clients often find they develop a new comfort level with communication and have less concern that a disagreement will turn into a hostile argument. My goal is to help you decrease resentment and create new patterns of communicating.
How Can Couples Counseling Help?
I provide a forum for honest and direct discussion in which each person is able to feel heard and understood. I want to help you develop active listening skills so that you can really communicate. After a few sessions, my clients find that they are relieved to be able to talk about things they were never able to express. They get used to new ways of relating that they are able to continue on their own.
“Listening is a very deep practice…You have to empty yourself…You have to leave space in order to listen. When you have shown your capacity for listening and understanding, the other person will begin to listen to you, and you have a chance to tell him or her of your pain, and it’s your turn to be healed. This is the practice of peace.”Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist Monk, Teacher, Author, Peace Activist
I have a unique approach to couples therapy in which I meet with each person individually for the first two sessions and then together as a couple for the third session and thereafter. People generally find this helpful as it allows them to talk freely in the first session with enough time to be able to communicate what is on their mind and the key issues they need to address. With this approach, I am able to gain enough information about each person’s perspective to thoroughly understand what needs to be discussed. From there I am able to direct the discussion to the most important issues at hand. People are often relieved to hear that they can begin couples therapy this way. I will meet with each person alone again if necessary, but many find just that first session alone gives them the time and space to be able to think about and clearly communicate their own point of view.
What Might You Expect from Couples Counseling?
Once the couple has a plan of moving forward with counseling, they often notice a sense of relief that begins to set in around ongoing disagreements, even before meeting in person. There now is a shared agreement between them that it will be a team effort to address communication in the relationship. This alone can begin to bring the couple closer than they have recently been, and I am always amazed to see the eagerness to talk about things that have been buried where past attempts to resolve them have been unsuccessful.
With uninterrupted time set aside to communicate, both parties often bring up issues they may have not even realized bothered them. Interestingly enough, these issues are often at the root of the main issues that need to be resolved. There is a general flow to the session that no one could predict, so there is an ability of each session to yield new clarity and insights for both parties. Couple’s counseling always strengthens a great relationship and can allow for a deeper connection than if nothing had been addressed.
“Understanding one another is more important for respect and connection than is solving every problem life throws your way.”Howard J. Markman, Fighting for Your Marriage